I was on the phone with my adult daughter recently and something she said jolted me to the core. She was recounting the night she and 5 other people were forced to huddle together at a neighbor's house during the February "snowpocalypse" storm in Austin Texas in 2021. The owner of the home was one of the few households that still had power and water as they were on the same grid as the Hospital. Everyone in the house got covid. The stores were closed, supply trucks could not get in, and they wrecked a car while trying to procure food from one of the other houses. I remembered the helpless feeling as eventually the house they were in lost power as well.
STILL FEELING THE EFFECTS...
My daughter and her husband were still feeling the effects of the Covid shutdown in March of 2020. Like so many people at that time they were suddenly unable to work. People had mortgages, car payments and utilities to pay. This nation and its vibrant cities and towns shut down. Businesses closed and jobs were lost. The Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act provided trillions in funding to family and businesses during the shutdown to those that qualified, but many fell through the cracks. Those that could still work and bring in an income had to either be exposed to the virus working in public service, work from home in solitude if they were single, or if they had a family, find a way to do their job, homeschool their children and avoid getting sick.
IT TOOK ITS TOLL...
Many parents of millennials were at a point in life that the shutdown didn’t have the same negative impact financially, however the threat of the disease was more concerning to the aged or medically compromised. The death toll was such that many of this large population of young adults born between 1980 and the mid 1990’s, lost grandparents, parents, co-workers, neighbors, and friends.
IT HAD A LASTING IMPACT...
They’d grown up with a false sense of justice. Life is not fair; not everyone gets the prize. The impact pf this perceived injustice spawned a form of PTSD for some. Drug and alcohol use, suicides, depression, and apathy skyrocketed. The lack of social interaction, outdoor activities and exercise quickly took a toll on people’s psyche. TV, social media, online gambling, and gaming sucked them further down into the isolated abyss, while the government subsidy made it easy for some to forget what it was like to be a part of a productive society. Others were anxious to get back to work, only to be disappointed by a nonsensical new norm.
HOW DO WE HELP THEM THRIVE?
Millennials are a mixed bag of personalities, backgrounds, upbringing, and economic means.
There is no panacea for all who made it through the Covid 19 shutdown, but for the ones who are struggling physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, there are things we can do to assist their continued recovery. How do we help them thrive? Below are 5 ways to help struggling millennials.
1. Validate their feelings and trauma, even if you can’t fully relate to it. Remember, they may still be grieving the loss of a loved one, income, status, and their former way of life.
2. Ease their sense of injustice. Life is not fair! Give an example or recall and injustice you’ve suffered and endured. Bad things happen to good people. Do this gently with empathy.
3. Encourage them to embrace a healthier and productive lifestyle by working, eating right, getting sleep and exercising. Staying busy helps them get past the past and move forward.
4. Get them to open up and talk. Pertinent conversations give insight into any lingering issues that overwhelm them. Help them problem solve and find hope. Invite them to lean into their faith.
5. Assist them financially only if necessary and with the agreement that all loans are expected to be paid back in a timely manner. Do not enable them! They need to work, save money, and pay you back.
WE MOVE FROM CONTROL TO INFLUENCE...
Parenting is hard enough as it is, and most of us thought we were done when they graduated, moved out and started careers. Unfortunately, most of this generation were coddled and ill-equipped to handle the magnitude of the Covid crisis. Suddenly not everything was about them and some of them still can’t make sense of what happened. I see it in the younger ones that don’t make eye contact and don’t show up for work, or if they do, they’re high. Some older millennials are playing catch up on a treadmill that is getting them nowhere, in debt, working 2 jobs and emotionally spent.
How is your millennial? Some of them came out of it ok financially, but they still struggle socially or emotionally. As parents we move from control to influence…but just know, our influence is powerful and effective when they know how much we care. It opens the door for us to supply them life skills to move forward and thrive.
Laurie Rowland is a writer, author, speaker, and life coach based in the Florida Panhandle. She teaches clients how to live the life they imagined by turning inward to their authentic self and away from hindrances that keep them stuck so they can unlock their true potential. www.laurierowlandwrites.com
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